Jane and John – Scene 2

Scene 2: Ilwaco, WA, – Same day, very late at night

John pulls the car up a gravel driveway. It is very dark outside. Outside the sea can be heard. A couple of dogs come out to greet them. John pulls the car into a camouflaged barn. The barn is only lit by a hurricane lamp. John turns off the engine and they get out of the car.

John
(a little tense to Party Balls)
You make sure to burn everything? No one followed you? The car is taken car of?

While John dishes it out with Party Balls, Jane empties out her purse into a large steel can. She unloads, John’s beer glass from Cleofus’ and a pile of dirty napkins, filled with cigarette butts.

Party Balls
Easy dude, have I ever let you down?

John
(raising his voice)
Yeah, you have.

Jane
(interrupting)
Baby, leave it.

John
Sorry man, I’m just beat.

Party Balls
(agitated)
And I’m not! I’m fuckin’ hiding you here outta the kindness…

John
(interrupting)
…of your fuckin guilt.

Party Balls
Jesus Christ, it was that one time, that one fucking time…

John
One time could’ve been the last!

Party Balls
But it wasn’t! God forbid you ever make a mistake St. John!

Jane
(stepping between them)
Christ you two meatballs, enough!

Party Balls and John stare each other down

Jane
Are you kidding me with this? Stop it! (pause) Jesus, why don’t you just show us to our room and we’ll deal in the morning.

They continue to stare at each other.

Jane
(raising her voice)
Now!

Startling both men, Party Balls leads them to a loft in the barn. They ascend the makeshift stairs. The loft is rustic and cozy. A queen bed lies in the corner of the space. A Japanese screen separates the bed from the rest of the space. A large window covered with red gingham fabric covers the window. In front of the window is a writing desk with a laptop and some miscellaneous papers and items. A clothing rack with a few items of clothing sits across the room adjacent to the bed.

Party Balls
It ain’t much…

John
(forgiving him)
Thanks man.

Party Balls and John hug one another.

Jane
Ah, now kiss and make up.

Party Balls
Shut the hell up!

He playfully grabs Jane into a headlock. Jane screams laughing.

Party Balls
(letting Jane go)
All right ya criminals, I’ll see ya in the morning.

Party Balls exits. John puts the couple’s bags down.

John
We’re gonna be safe here baby.

He kisses Jane and pulls her close to him.

John
Why don’t you get yourself into bed, sweetheart.

Jane nods and crosses to the bed. He picks up the bag of money and situates himself at the desk. Next to the desk is a safe. John opens the safe revealing a lot of money. There he begins to count the cash and stack it. Jane takes off her shoes and stretches out on the bed. A small end table sits next to the bed. A top of it is a picture of John and her at their favorite bar. Jane grabs the photo and laughs.

John
(still counting)
What’s up doll?

Jane
That seems so long ago.

John
Huh?

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Jane and John (working title)

Scene 1: Elma, WA – Cleofus’ Lounge, late afternoon
It is late afternoon outside of Cleofus’ Lounge, a sports bar with a for-singles-feel. Jane parked outside the bar disguised in an Asian mask and hair, drags on a cigarette and inhaler, intermittently. She checks her phone for the time. Inside the bar John, also disguised in an Asian mask and hair sips a beer while sitting at the bar. He checks his phone for the time. Cleofus, the owner and bartender, stocks glasses behind the bar. The bar is empty except John, Roy and Cleofus. From the jukebox, Merle Haggard sings “I’m a White Boy” in the background.

Roy
C’mon Chang, I wanna see your Kung Pao chicken karate chop.

John
Dude lemme buy you a beer.

Roy
I woulda been in Nam, but I got this bum knee…Wouldn’t take me.

Cleofus
Ah, c’mon Roy, this kid’s too young to have been in Nam. And he’s not even Japanese, he Chinese. Shut the hell up and have a beer with him.

Roy
No, I wanna see what this slope’s got.

Roy gets up into John’s face and continues taunting him.

Roy
(repeating)
Slope ain’t got shit…Slope ain’t got shit…Slope…

John screeches a la Bruce Lee then punches Roy in the face. Roy hits the ground immediately. He jumps onto Roy and continues to beat him mercilessly. Outside, Jane checks the time, puts out her cigarette in a wet napkin and puts it into her purse.

Jane
I love you David Caruso.

Jane scurries across the parking lot and swings open the bar door. Cleofus and John both look up and see her. Jane walks across the floor and stops in front of the bar.

Cleofus
You betta get your chardonnay elsewhere little girl, this ain’t no place for a lady.

Jane pulls out her Walther PPK and points it at Cleofus. Cleofus backs up with his hands up.

Cleofus
Easy little girl, you might hurt yourself.

John jumps off of Roy does a quick bow then slides his body across the bar and stands next to Cleofus.

John
Shut the fuck up and do what she says.

Jane
I want the money in the till and the money in the safe, Cleofus.

Cleofus
Ain’t no safe, you got it all wrong girl.

Jane
(cocking the PPK)
What the fuck kinda name is “Cleofus”? Your parents hate you or something?

Cleofus
(indignant)
It’s a family name.

Jane
Ok family guy, open the safe you got hidden behind those pictures of them nappy kids and we’ll be on our way.

Roy Stands up and begins to head towards Jane.

John
(pulling out his Colt .45)
Lay down fatty! This ain’t your Nam.

John turns to Cleofus and slaps him across the face.

Jane
(softly)
…The money round eye.

Cleofus hands over the money from the till and from in the safe. John and Jane take the money and run out the door. Before leaving Jane grabs John’s empty beer glass. Outside, Jane and John jump into the car.

Jane
What the fuck John?

Jane reaches into the glove box and pulls out her inhaler. She takes a quick puff while starting up the car.

John
What? He called me a slope.

John lights up two cigarettes and hands one off to Jane.

Jane
…And what, he buy you a beer, too? Thank God for Caruso.

Jane smokes on her cigarette and drags on her inhaler intermittently while she tears out of the parking lot and blasts down the road.

End Scene~

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